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Booty-lifting jeans are lies

Consider this a Public Service Announcement. Do not buy booty-lifting jeans unless you are a size 2-6 and have cute little skinny-girl ass shaped by…

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It’s okay to feel all the feelings, not just the happy ones

A little over a year ago, I was having dinner with my parents to celebrate my 28th birthday. I was scheduled to have surgery a…

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Hey 2015, you’ve been alright.

It seems like the resounding sentiment that floods my social media newsfeeds and conversations at the end of every year is basically, “Fuck this year.…

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Goals are dumb, but I’m almost 30.

I celebrated my 29th birthday last weekend. I’ve been saying I’m almost 30 for a while, so I guess that’s official now. I don’t typically make…

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Rules for walking on the motherfucking sidewalk

I went to lunch with co-worker one day, and as we were walking, he had to abruptly move out of the way for a girl…

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What can we do?

First of all, I’m aware that I have been mostly absent from this website over the last few weeks. I’m finding it hard to overcome my…

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Sunday night insomnia blues

Does anyone else have this problem? I have tried so many things to knock myself out. There was one night I was honestly concerned I…

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The Jane to my Daria

Everyone should have a friend they can text some straight nonsense to at any hour; someone who moves at exactly your speed when you need…

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