Did you hear? There’s a blizzard in Denver today. #Bombogenesis
Having grown up in Denver and having experienced true Denver winters, I have been aching for a winter like this for years. The mildness and lack of snow of the last several years is just not a Denver winter. I know transplants have become accustomed to hiking on a 70 degree day in December, but let me make this very clear: THAT IS NOT NORMAL!
When I was kid, my family lived in an apartment, with very steep stairs that led up to the front door. When it snowed, the ice an snowpack that covered the steps would make the perfect hill for sledding. These were not safe stairs under normal circumstances and certainly not when it snowed. People trying to walk down them would have been better off grabbing a sled. We sledded down iced over stairs a lot.
The last time I remember a storm that shut the city down was when I was in high school – the blizzard of 2003 that conveniently hit right in time for Spring Break. I remember classes being cancelled for one day exactly one time in college, and I’ve had early closures at work a couple of times since working a corporate job. But today, today is special.
At about 10:30 pm last night my phone rang with a recorded message from my employer to inform me that our office would be closed today. The whole day.
My email inbox and Facebook feed has been filled with notices from local businesses like Tattered Cover, yoga studios, and even breweries informing me of early closures and limited class schedules. This just does not happen here.
Furthermore, Denverites are a hardy people who historically don’t cancel or close shit for weather. Do you have any idea how many times I had to trek to my retail job on treacherous roads when I was in college? A lot! I risked my life many times so the people of north metro Denver would not have to wait a day to fulfill their home improvement needs.
So I’d like to thank the transplants, particularly those who have come from warmer climates, for filling this city with wimps and allowing me this rare day in which I am discouraged from leaving my home and thus do not have to put on make-up, do my hair, wear a bra, or speak to other humans. I appreciate you. In all seriousness, it was a good call.
And to those of you who woke up this morning to only rain thinking we were all fools, how dare you doubt the incredible rollercoaster of Colorado weather!
Enjoy your day, people of Denver!
Like a $!*#&@? Lady 
Published by