The kids are saying what now?

I’m apparently too old to understand things at this point.

Scenario 1

Me: I did not know what “Netflix and chill” actually meant for a really long time.

Harrison: Wait… really?

Me: No, and I definitely said it to at least one person before I knew what it meant. I thought it meant actually watching Netflix for an extended period of time, which I am really really good at and can completely understand.

Harrison: Sure, by yourself, but when you invite another person to “Netflix and chill,” it means something different. It means you’re doin’ it.

Me: I’m still confused. So if you’re by yourself it means actually watching Netflix…alone? Doing nothing else? But if you invite someone to “Netflix and chill,” it means doin’ it?

A quick aside- Can someone please confirm this for me, so I do not use this incorrectly ever again?

Harrison: Yes.

Me: It never even occurred to me.

Harrison: Think about when we first started dating. You’d come over, the internet wouldn’t work right, or we just wouldn’t watch things that we put on because we were more interested in other things.

Me: I guess that’s true.

Harrison: Now we actually watch stuff and do it later.

Me: Right.

Scenario 2

There’s a song called “Cake by the Ocean.” I’d never heard of it before a co-worker brought it up. My initial thought was that it seemed a little impractical to eat cake while sitting by an ocean. Cake is great; the ocean is lovely, but I don’t know why anyone would want to have those two things together. Obviously sand would contaminate your cake, and it would no longer be an enjoyable dessert.

Little did I know, the word “cake” does not always mean a delicious, fluffy dessert, topped with the frosting of your choosing. Thank you Urban Dictionary for clearing this up for me.

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I would like to assert that I despise the word “pussy.” What the fuck is “caking?” 
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And there we have it.  

You’ve heard this absurd song whether you know it or not, unless the rock you live under is somehow larger than the one I live under. That’s a Jonas Brother, right?

I still have a lot of questions.

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