Hi. I’m still here.
At the end of September, I started a leave of absence from my day job. With the support of a fabulous doctor (rare, I know) and a great therapist, I’m managing depression. Truth be told, I think a tendency toward sadness has always been my inclination. I’m more optimistic than some assume, but I also see the world as it is, and for any sane person, it must evoke some sadness.
I had been struggling with an extremely toxic work environment. I reported my boss to my company’s HR department for bullying, sharing my personal information with others, and rampant gossip about other people. I’m sure it will come as a surprise to no one that they were less than helpful.
I even started interviewing with another company. I had two interviews before they told me things had changed within the team.
I felt stuck in a cycle of constant burnout and exhaustion, and I became angry that Harrison and I made this jump and we can’t focus all of our time and energy on it to stay afloat financially.
While it might seem like cheating, this gives me time to focus on the bar and try to find a path to leave my full-time job. I just need to cobble together a livable income. I’m not entirely sure how I’m going to do that just yet. I’m looking at everything from part-time work to freelance writing jobs to selling pictures of my feet (only half kidding).
Since I’ve been on leave, I’ve grown to love the bar even more. Maybe it’s the anti-depressants talking, but I’m not exhausted or frustrated at my lack of free time. I simply enjoy the time I’m there and the community that has formed. Sure, I get physically tired from being on my feet for hours at a time, and as an introvert, I get burnt out on the constant human interaction. But over the last year, I’ve built relationships with great people and I’ve watched incredible friendships form.
I have five more weeks to hatch a plan. I either find a new path, or I go back to my job. Let’s hope for the former.