I’m Fat, You’re Fat. Let’s Get Vaccinated.

Hello. This is me. My whole body that I dragged up to 10,000 ft back in August. I worked hard for that view.

May be an image of Whitney Bradford, standing, outerwear, tree, lake and mountain

And here is my BMI as of a year ago.

(It’s definitely higher now because I’ve gained 5-10 pounds during this long, dark winter.)

According to the state of Colorado, having a BMI over 30 constitutes a high-risk health condition called obesity, and this means that I will be vaccine eligible starting on March 19th.

BMI is an extremely flawed metric that is in no way indicative of a person’s overall health. It’s literally a math problem involving height and weight. Do you know any meatheads who are, I don’t know, really into Crossfit and wear their shirts a size too small to make their muscles look bigger? Guess what? Their BMI probably also says they’re obese. Because BMI is very much bullshit.

As fully stupid as this measurement is, I will absolutely use it to get the vaccine, and you should, too. If your state says you are eligible, you are not skipping the line, and you are not taking someone else’s spot. We’re trying to vaccinate 330,000,000 million people here (give or take).

And please don’t get in your head about it. While I have definitely never been a small person, I am healthy and pretty active (although starting a new, more demanding job at the onset of winter, when it’s dark before 5pm has not been helpful for my overall activity level), and I am fortunate that I have a doctor I trust who always looks at the big picture and not just my weight. But she is not every doctor. It is unfortunately not out of the realm of possibilities that weight could impact someone’s quality of care should they get sick.

Trust me, I get it. My gut reaction was to say “Fuck you, state of Colorado. I’m not high risk. I’m young and healthy damnit!” It’s taken me a long time to develop an appreciation for my body and to (mostly) ignore what metrics like BMI tell me about myself.

And that was also the reaction of people I told about this. Multiple people said something along the lines of, “I don’t want to fuck someone else over, so I’ll wait.”

Okay a couple of things. First of all, what are you actually going to do then? Because if your plan is to just sit around and think you’re helping by keeping one appointment open, you’re giving yourself a whole lot of undeserved credit. Waiting if you are eligible could actually hurt people, and your solitary open appointment will not create some seismic shift that allows all the most vulnerable people to suddenly get the shot. So respectfully, get the hell over yourself. Harrison and I spent the last week helping someone he works with who is over 60 and has asthma find a vaccine appointment. I get that this process has not been ideal or easy.

If you’re concerned about equity gaps or more vulnerable people not getting vaccinated, then good grief, help them or pressure your local officials to initiate more community outreach and vaccine sites where it matters. But make yourself an appointment, too. It might take a while to find one, anyway.

Second, there has been plenty of guilt and shame in the last year. Am I supporting local businesses enough? Am I donating to the right causes? Should I be wearing 2 masks instead of one now? And is it okay to still like Justin Timberlake’s music? So stop shaming people you don’t think are “deserving” or feeling guilty yourself about finding an appointment for yourself. Getting the vaccine means you are actively becoming part of the solution.

It’s a shot in an arm, and ultimately that is a good thing.

I think it started on Halloween

Has anyone else been struggling with some rage issues? Like you feel it, but you’re not sure what to do about it. If you express said rage, you might ruin relationships. But also, maybe it’s okay because MAYBE YOU DON’T WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH PEOPLE WHO CAN’T STAY THE FUCK IN THEIR HOUSES IN A GOD DAMN GLOBAL PANDEMIC ANYWAY!!!!!

Okay listen – I am a rule-follower by nature. I’m also insanely introverted. I can do alone way more than basically anyone I know. I do not suffer from FOMO to the slightest degree. I also have a partner whose company I enjoy 98% of the time, and we are both still employed and working for companies that have given us the ability to work from home. I am wildly fortunate, and I recognize that.

On the other hand… I cannot for the life of me understand why a single person, healthy or not, would just be like, “Welp, if I get it, I get it. I mean, I’ll probably be fine. Statistically speaking.”

Let’s say that’s true. You’ll be fine. But what about all of the unassuming people your reckless dumb ass comes into contact with who are just trying to work their job that we the public have deemed essential, for which they almost definitely do not get paid enough, and I don’t know… NOT DIE. This is why I have had to restrain myself from chucking my phone at the wall for the last 6,7,8 months whenever someone posts online that we shouldn’t judge people for their choices.

FUCK YOU, YOU NO EMPATHY HAVING MONSTERS! I WILL JUDGE YOU FOR YOUR CHOICES WHEN YOUR CHOICES DO NOT EXIST IN A VACCUUM IN THIS PARTICULAR SITUATION!

And furthermore, you do not know that you will be fine, so why would you risk it? Personally, my lungs, brain, and heart are my 3 favorite organs. All of those organs could be permanently damaged by COVID.

It’s the week of Thanksgiving, and judging by how things have escalated the last couple weeks, it bears out that all of the people who couldn’t handle chilling the hell out on Halloween have made an already very bad thing much worse. The hospital down the street from me in Denver is full last I heard, and meanwhile, I know people getting on planes.

I’m tired, too. I used to LOVE our weekly grocery store trip. Now, we go bi-weekly and shop like it’s the actual apocalypse to keep ourselves out of circulation as much as possible. I have not walked out of my apartment door without a mask on my face since May 6, when the Denver mandate was implemented. Every trip out of the house has a damn strategy. I haven’t sat down to eat at a restaurant since March. I. AM. TIRED. I miss the movies, theater, concerts, yoga in a studio, and not having to think about what I’m touching or how close people are standing to me. I have seen 6 friends in person since March, and only 2 of them more than once. My family lives an hour away, and I am not seeing them for Thanksgiving, and maybe not Christmas either. We definitely aren’t traveling to see Harrison’s family for Christmas like we have for the last almost decade. I get it. This sucks. But guess what I’m not sick of – being healthy and not spreading a deadly virus.

So yeah, I’m judging you because I know what other people have given up and continue to give up while you just can’t be bothered.

I am not the person to show your Thanksgiving photos to, and I am NOT the person to complain to about the stresses of holiday traveling. The CDC has given you a giant wide open out.